I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
