So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he thought i was a dude.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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