if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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