Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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