Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
