So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
