Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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