i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
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I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
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You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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