Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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