In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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