Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
