found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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