You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
