Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
