why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
