I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
