I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.