Porn is love you can see.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
