dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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