i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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