they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
