I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is not your playground.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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