He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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