On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
How's work?
Spinning.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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