Will you blow on my dice?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
