Joe is yelling at the trees again.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
