This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
