Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
