found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
