It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
