I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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