She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
