it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
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I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
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Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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