I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
