The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
