i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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