Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think my moral compass just broke
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
