My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
