I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
