i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
