And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
