It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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