i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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