Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
