Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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