Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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