Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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