if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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