the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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