Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
