My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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