We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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