last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
it's like iHOP with fire
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
