Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize