bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
