so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
