I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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