I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
