It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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