Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
