But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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