You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
vagina is talking i cant
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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