Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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