I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
