just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
