Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How external is "for external use only"?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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